If Only
by ElphieAtHeart
Summary: Sequal to my other oneshot called My Wonderland. You will need to read that one first to understand this story. Hermione's POV. What happened the next morning? RHr fluff and HG thown in for good measure. Enjoy!


-1**Disclaimer: You know the drill… if I owned anything, these scenes would actually be in the books. **

**A/N:** **Alright guys, by request, this is a squeal to my previous one-shot, "My Wonderland." It took me quite some time to find a song to put in Hermione's perspective. I was on "youtube" the other day and I found a small music video a fan had made using clips from "The Little Mermaid" put to a song that is found in the Broadway production of the movie. This song isn't originally in the movie, but the moment I heard it I wished it was. After listening a second time, I listened closely to Ariel's lyrics in the song and found them to be nearly exactly what I had always thought of as Hermione's internal monologues when she confronts Ron on the books. So, with that being said, I hope you enjoy this new shortie. If you want to hear the song, just go to YouTube and type in "If Only the little mermaid" in the search bar. It should be the second or third video listed. And on this the show…**

**If Only**

Sunlight streamed through the burgundy bed curtains of the sixth year dormitories, splashing shades of light across the pillows of a sleeping figure before successful withdrawing a lone sixth year from her dreams. Annoyed that the day had come so quickly, she rose to a sitting position, running her fingers through her unbearably curly, tangled hair. For a moment, her frustration of the day ebbed away as she let her senses awake, enjoying the silence that surrounded her, harmonizing with the small twittering of morning birds. There was a reason Hermione had woken with a feeling of dread for the morning, but at the present, she couldn't recall why she had the need to feel that way.

Like every morning, Hermione let her mind wander to the day that faced her, forming a schedule of the days events. _'What's already planned?' _she thought, her eyes roaming the empty, unmade beds around her, a twinge of irritation at her roommates leaving work of the house elves that they themselves could easily do if they simply took the time. _'Let's see. Ginny said that she planned to steal Harry away for a few hours,' _she spoke in her head as she rose from her bed and proceeded to put on her normal Saturday attire of jeans and a jumper before tackling her hair with her brush, twisted from her shower she had taken the night before. _'Then Harry has quidditch practice,'_ her thoughts continued as pulled on her socks and sneakers before reaching out to her bed sheets to rearrange then into their proper place, _'Ron will be there with hi-,' _

Hermione felt her brain short-circuit as her bedcovers fell from her hands. Freezing in her bent over position, Hermione felt her eyes go wide with fear. All at once, her brain started up again and memories of the night before rushed back at her. Straightening up slowly, Hermione let her arms drop to her side as she continued to stare at nothing in particular, unable to move her gaze. Praying hard, Hermione willed herself to believe that it had all been a dream. An overly detailed and rather pleasant dream, but a dream nonetheless.

Inch by inch, Hermione brought her fingertips up to her mouth, brushing a light circle over her lips. Realization hit her hard. The argument was real. The kiss was real. The whole screwed up night was real.

"Oh… my…god…GINNY!" Hermione abandoned her attempt to make her bed, spun on her heel and blotted out the door, racing down the hall into the fifth year dormitories.

"GINNY!" she screamed louder as she burst through her friend's dormitory door. An empty room greeted her. Shutting the door, Hermione pressed her back against the smooth wood, letting her body slip down until she was crumpled on the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest. Letting her head drop onto her knees, Hermione resisted the urge to groan in agony of the situation.

_If only you could know the things I long to say. If only I could tell you what I wish I could convey._

'How could I have been so stupid?' she though angrily. She had come so close to telling him last night. The moment wasn't the perfect atmosphere she had pictured in the semi-conscience state between sleeping and waking nearly every morning since third year, but the moment was there, and she was about to tell him.

And at the moment, words failed her.

She had desperately tried for years to get the message across with meaningful glances and hinting looks. More than once she had even tried to let him catch her as she gave him side-long glances from across the classrooms. But nothing seemed to work.

"Give it up, Hermione," she mumbled to herself in the empty hallway, "it's your own fault for falling for the thickest, most romantically challenged boy in since Fitzwilliam Darcy.

_It's in my every glance, my hearts an open book. You'd see it all at once if only you would look. _

And now, she had done the inevitable. She had gone and kissed him, and rather suddenly and unexpectedly as well. For some reason, she couldn't get the shocked look that Ron had displayed across his face out of her mind. The moment she pulled away from the kiss, she had instantly regretted it. He looked as if she had slapped him.

Hermione felt the pinprick of oncoming tears pain her eyes. Bumping her head against the denim covering her knees, Hermione pulled her arms tight around her legs, making herself as small as possible, fighting the urge to cry.

"This would be so much easier if he would just get the stupid hints!" she spoke in a fierce whisper.

_If only you could glimpse the feeling that I feel. If only you would notice what I'm dying to reveal. The dreams I can't declare, the needs I can't deny, you'd understand them all of only you would try._

Pulling herself upright back onto her feet, Hermione looked down the hall briefly, once more making sure no one had seen her near breakdown, before taking a deep breath, releasing it slowly, and began a strong, brisk stride to the staircase leading to the commons. Making her way down the stone steps, Hermione reached up and subconsciously brushed away the lone tear that, despite her mental protests, found it's way down her face.

_All my secrets, you would learn them. All my longings, you'd return them. All my shackles, they'd be broken. Not a word would need be spoken._

Standing outside the Great Hall, Hermione stared hard at the intricate patterns made out on the door. Long ago, Hermione had realized that if you followed the designs on the doors from right to left, starting at the bottom and ending at the door post at the top, each design hid a letter of the alphabet, spelling out the school motto in English. "Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon." She had told Harry once, but he merely seemed to act interested long enough to please her. She hadn't bothered telling Ron.

Ron.

The reason she was standing where she was. Ron, without even realizing it, was causing her to stand immobile outside the Great Hall. Ron had her staring at the same spot on the for the past three minutes and twenty seven seconds. Ron, without knowing the power he had over her, had her counting the seconds it took her to build up the mental courage to open the doors and walk in.

Ron.

Hermione wanted to die.

_If only it were true, if only for a while. If only you would notice how I ache behind my smile. I guess you never will. I guess it doesn't show. But, if I ever find a way to tell you so… Oh what I would give if only you could know._

Hesitantly, Hermione nudged the doors opened wide enough to slip inside. Scanning the room quickly, Hermione hoped that, for once, Ron wasn't hungry and that maybe she could eat alone without causing suspicion, successfully avoiding him for another hour.

But, of course, that would have been quite convenient, and as Hermione had found out throughout her experiences with being muggle-born, facing danger, nearly dying more than once, and being cursed with the awful excuse of hair that sat atop her head… life was never convenient. And sure enough, Ron was there, sitting as usual across from Harry and Ginny, both of which seemed rather more occupied with each other then the piles of breakfast food that lay in vast assortments around them. Rolling his eyes, Ron pointedly looked away from his best friend and his little sister, running his gaze around the room.

For a brief moment, Hermione found herself ready to escape the way she had entered before Ron could spot her. The moment she was about to do so, he spotted her. And, suddenly, Hermione felt the urge to run melt away. Instead, she had, once again, found herself quite unable to move. _'Damn you, Ron,' _Hermione's brain cursed. Unable to look away, Hermione watched Ron's blank expression unmask into a smile. That same smile that had nearly killed her the night before. Still unable to feel her legs, Hermione simply stood there as Ron rose from the table, his absence going unnoticed by Harry who was currently busy giving Ginny a proper, non-verbal 'good morning'.

Hermione's heart rate picked up with each step Ron took until she was sure she would drop dead from exhaustion. By the time Ron was directly in front of her, Hermione was sure he could hear the buzzing her heart-rate was making. Stopping in front of her, leaving only a foot between them, Ron looked almost directly down at his fellow Gryffindor. Hermione waited in agony for the joking words that were sure to be pointed at her to come from his lips. Instead, silence hung around the pair, the noise of the crowded Great Hall all at once seemed oddly muffled.

He was the first to break the quiet. "Hey," he spoke softly.

"Hey," was all she was able to get out with her rapid breathing.

"So," he continued, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans, rapidly finding the small hole in the knee of Hermione's jeans interesting.

"So," she echoed him once more, feeling increasingly stupid at being unable to form her own words.

"Last night," he said, a grin creeping across his features as he slowly looked back up at Hermione again.

Hermione only nodded, not trusting her voice and unable to meet his gaze, instead staring straight ahead as she had done once again, her eyes only meeting is shirt collar.

"That wasn't fair," he stated bluntly. Hermione's eyes shot up to his meet his gaze.

"W-what?" she stammered, taken aback by what Ron had said.

"Last night," he repeated, giving off the impression that what he was referring to was perfectly clear, "it's wasn't fair." It took a moment to answer.

"Er… I'm sorry?" Hermione was completely lost in where this conversation was going.

"Well, you should be," Ron spoke, inching closer to Hermione, causing the gap between then to shrink.

"I… um… I don't understand," If Hermione thought that forming a sentence was hard before, it was nothing compared to what she was going through now.

"Well," Ron began, taking another step, leaving them nose to nose, "Last night, if I recall correctly… you kissed me."

"Uh-huh," Hermione could barely breathe, her heart was ready to burst from her chest. At her level, Hermione found herself watching Ron's lips move as he talked, unable to get rid of the memory of his lips against hers.

"And, now correct me if I'm wrong, you left before I could properly register what was happening," As each word left his mouth, he slowly inched forward, until she could feel his warm breath across her chin and neck with each spoken sound.

"Th-that's right," Hermione was amazed at her own ability to actually say those two words, given the fact that Ron's mouth was so painfully close.

"So…" Hermione could only watch his mouth smile wider as he answered her, "You owe me."

And before she was given time to respond, Ron closed the nearly non-existent space between his mouth and hers, drowning any form of an answer she may have spoken.

Hermione felt every inch of her being ignite with fire as she felt Ron's hands leave his pockets and take residence encircling her waist. Waves of warmth passed though her as she moved her lips rhythmically against his. The world dissolved away as she stood there against the wall of the Great Hall, students filing past to enjoy their Saturday. Whispers and giggles were lost as the pounding in Hermione's ears were all that she could here.

And, just as it had the previous night, it all ended too soon. The moment Ron pulled back, Hermione felt at a lost. Finally able to look up and meet his gaze, Hermione felt three-hundred questions enter her brain. And for once, Hermione told her brain to shut up. Right now, no answer to any question could have made her happier.

"AHA!" A female voice erupted from beside Ron and Hermione, causing both to jump and stare wildly around. To Hermione's left stood an overjoyed looking red-head and the red-head's rather depressed looking boyfriend. "I _told _you!" Ginny continued to shout excitedly at her raven haired soul mate. "I win! Cough up, Harry," Ginny outstretched her hand expectantly towards Harry, who grudgingly reached into his pocket and produced a fistful of coins.

Hermione snapped back into reality. "You _bet _on us?" she asked unbelievingly.

"Yep," Ginny answered casually, "And I won."

Silence followed Harry and Ginny as she gave once last smile and walked out with Harry in tow.

After a minute or two, Hermione found her voice again, "I can't believe her! How could she do something so… so _juvenile_?"

Ron only smiled, pulling Hermione closer to him and once more pressing a searing kiss to her lips, stopping Hermione before her questions got the better of the situation.

And as Hermione wound her fingers though his fiery hair, she found a single though going though her mind. 'Maybe I don't give his enough credit. Maybe he isn't entirely oblivious.'

And with that, Hermione ceased thinking for the time being.

**A/N:**** Alright, this was probably not as great as some of you people were hoping for. I'm really sorry! I was trying to type this up before a College Match at my school and my brother kept asking for my laptop seven hundred times and was throwing me off focus. **

**I hope it isn't too bad. I know it's not my best. **

**Please review and tell me how I can improve.**

**All flames will be used to roast hot dogs!!!**

**I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!**


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